When your life doesn’t go as planned we tend to search for solutions in all the wrong places. The desire to have the answer or know what’s next keeps us in constant motion. Or is that just our desire for control. You may say, I do not need to control everything but that may not the truth. We crave control over our lives more than anything else. Unless you’rea psychopath who also yearns to control people, a conversation for later. But the reason we plan and strategize our move in life is to control the narrative.
At least I can admit that is the case for me. But let’s say you aren’t like that, you didn’t plan out your career, you didn’t have an idea of when you would be married, or when or if you would have children. You didn’t dream up scenarios of how your day to day would flow and how your partner would treat you. You didn’t layout goals to achieve and didn’t have a checklist of things to do to achieve it. You didn’t create an image of yourself in your mind that you wanted to portray to the world. Then congratulations, you can stop reading here.
But if you did have plans, and they haven’t panned out, then you understand the constant desire to figure out
- where you went wrong and
- how to get back there.
Have you tried self-help books?
Yep, they filled me with more questions and an endless list of tasks to do.
Have you tried going back to school?
Yes, and my student loans appreciate the uncertainty, it keeps them in business.
What about lifestyle podcasts and affirmations?
Positivity gives a moment of light but not the direction to take said light.
There are many more tactics we try on our pursuit to get back to building the facade that begins to crumble towards your early thirties. When doubts and questions begin to fill our minds.
- Do we all have a mental timer that at thirty begins to get louder?
- When you look around at your home, job, friends, and lifestyle and say, is this how it’s going to be?
- Was this where I was supposed to be?
- Is there still time and hope to get in anything else that I may have forgotten?
- Is this even ME?
- Who am I?
If this entire article sounds like a tangent, it’s because that’s exactly what it feels like when you begin to question your life, your every move, and where you are.
The solution to what you should do when life doesn’t go as planned.
Be still and quiet and the solution will present itself.
Don’t believe me? What have you got to lose? Just try it.