I’ve been told I place an unusual amount of significance on the spoken and written word. I have always been a fan of language, so it should come as no surprise that I am an avid user of words. Language is power. Words are powerful. Words can build you up or tear you down. So if words are so great, why do would I ever prefer to express love using other methods rather than just through the use of words alone?
What are words of affirmation?
Words of affirmation are one of the five love languages, which are just specific ways of giving and receiving love in a relationship. Words of affirmation are the act of offering praise, admiration, or love through speech. However, words can be used in many different ways to express positive meaning and intent. Every day we use words to compliment our spouse’s actions, actions they’d like more of, their appearance, things they’ve said, etc.
Why are they important?
In my relationships, words are important. I need to feel like my partner is paying attention to me and that they are taking the time to notice all the good things about me. I need to feel loved and affirmed through words. When my partner takes the time to offer me a word of affirmation, it feels like they are telling me that I matter, that I’m worth their time, and that they accept me.
What it looks like in practice:
During my junior year of college, I had a boyfriend one day we were sitting on the couch watching TV and I leaned over and kissed him. He looked at me and said, “You’re so beautiful.” It wasn’t a super passionate kiss or anything. I didn’t look especially good that day or have on makeup or anything like that. But his words made me feel amazing! Not the kiss. It made a world of difference that he took the time to look at me and recognize my worth, even in that little moment.
Words are powerful, they can build or tear down. It’s easy for us to tell someone that we love them once in a blue moon, but it takes more effort to make your spouse feel loved by telling them every day how much you appreciate the things they do for you and your family.
The words you use are extremely impactful on your spouse. They can make their day, boost their mood and even change the way they look at themselves. It’s also an area where couples often fall short in marriage. Many spouses view love language through the lens of what they need most or want most to feel loved. Most people say that they need quality time from their spouse, and that is very true. However, if your spouse’s love language is words of affirmation and you only give them time, they are going to feel neglected.
It is just as important for spouses to understand what words of affirmation mean to their partner and use those words liberally in order to fill up their love tank and make their spouse feel loved through this method.
There’s the old adage: actions speak louder than words. Actions can and often do speak louder than words. However, I believe that there is power in both forms of expression; especially when those actions come from a place of love.
My Favorite Words of affirmation:
- I love how you..
- You always know just what to say to make me feel better. Thank you.
- I love how passionate you are about your work. You
- must be very talented.
- I love how smart you are, I’m glad that you’re my life partner.
- When I look at you I feel like the luckiest person in the world because _________________________.
- You inspire me to __________________________________.
- I love when you ___________________________________.
- I love how ________________________________.
- I know I’m not the easiest person to live with, but thank you for sticking with me. You’re so special to me.
- You are my greatest source of happiness. Thank you for being in my life.
- You look so handsome/beautiful tonight
- I love the way you take care of our
- Thank you for being so sweet and loving to my family and friends.
- It really impressed me when you..
- You’re so great at
- I appreciate you
- I’m glad you’re my partner
- I’m so happy with you
- I couldn’t do it without you
- You make me feel so loved
- I appreciate
- You’re a good person because
- Awesome job! / Great answer! / Way to go! / High five! / I’m proud of you!
In my family, we use the phrase “way to go” as our common everyday words of affirmation. I think it’s great because it can be used in any situation to show appreciation or acknowledgment. It’s a simple phrase that doesn’t require much effort, but it can mean a lot.
When it comes to words of affirmation, there are no wrong ways to say them as long as they come from a place of genuine love and care. So the next time you compliment your spouse or friend, be sure to show them exactly how much they mean to you through your words.