I’ve struggled with being in a codependent relationship. I’ve spent a lot of time going from one unhealthy relationship to another. I’ve lost myself a few times in a cyclical pattern of toxic relationships. Being aware of this was my first step to changing the pattern. It was not easy at first but it got easier as time went on. Learning about codependency affirmations can help you reprogram your subconscious mind and change toxic relationships into healthy ones.
To tackle my codependent relationship I tried a few things, books, youtube videos, and now I am using affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that you say to yourself over and over again to change the way that you think. If your mind thinks something, then it will act in accordance with that belief. The mind has no way of distinguishing what is real or not. If you tell yourself that you are worthless, then your mind will believe it and start behaving in a way that corresponds with its belief. If you tell yourself that you are valuable, then your mind will believe it and act accordingly to the new belief.
The definition of a codependent relationship is one where the two people involved need each other, but it’s not a balanced dependence and there aren’t reciprocal emotions and respect. There’s usually an imbalance between the people: one tends to be needy while the other feels suffocated. The end result is an unhealthy relationship that is not good for either person.
I know that when you love someone, it is easy to go into the codependent territory. You want so much for them to be happy and fulfilled. But the problem with being in a codependent relationship is that your needs begin to disappear. Your happiness becomes dependent on how they are feeling, if their life is going well, etc.
You can use this list of codependency affirmations to bring yourself back to the center so you don’t lose yourself in a relationship. I have also found that the more aware I am, the healthier my relationships are with everyone. And being healthy means being aware of your emotions and how they affect every aspect of your life.
Related: 10 Best Affirmations for 2020
Codependency can be considered as a set of beliefs that you have that causes negative actions. Usually, these beliefs are the result of a traumatic experience or an environment that is toxic and backward. You may believe that you need a person who mistreats you or that by being with them, they will change for the better. This does not work and only causes damage to your self-esteem. If you believe that somehow you deserve someone who treats you poorly or if you put their needs before your own, then your mind will act in accordance with this belief.
Codependency affirmations are a way of changing the way that you think and thus changing your behavior. By using positive codependency affirmations, your mind will start to believe them and change its behavior accordingly. This is going to take time and effort but the results are well worth it!
60 Powerful Codependency Affirmations:
- I deserve a healthy and loving relationship.
- I am not responsible for anyone’s happiness but my own.
- I deserve to be loved and cared for
- My happiness is important, I deserve to be loved the way that I love others.
- I am capable of being in a loving relationship.
- It’s okay if someone doesn’t want me, there are people who will.
- Healthy relationships are possible for me!
- If someone wants to take care of me, they will treat me with respect.
- No one can make me happy – I am responsible for my own happiness.
- I am a valued person. I am worthy of love. I do not need to be with anyone who hurts me.
- I will only have relationships with people who care about my happiness.
- No one can make me happy unless I feel like it myself first.
- My happiness does not depend on other people.
- I respect myself and my boundaries.
- If someone is toxic or abusive, they are not healthy for me. I deserve better. I will find someone who loves me how I deserve to be loved.
- I am moving on. I will not let anyone who has hurt me keep me back anymore.
- I respect my feelings and do not bottle them up just to keep someone else happy.
- Saying no is a perfectly acceptable answer.
- Abuse, whether physical or emotional, is wrong. I will stand up for myself and others that are being oppressed.
- My happiness comes from within me. I do not need anyone else to make me happy.
- This relationship is not healthy for either of us. I am leaving and never looking back.
- My needs are important. I deserve to be listened to and taken care of.
- I will not tolerate abuse from others. I have a voice and I will speak up for myself.
- I trust my intuition and make decisions that are best for me. I am safe.
- I alone am responsible for my happiness and well-being.
- My opinions are valid. I refuse to be silenced by anyone who wants to abuse or silence me.
- I deserve healthy, loving relationships with people that respect me. I will not settle for less than this again.
- Even though it may not seem like it now, the relationship is over. This person does not make me happy nor can they connect with me on a deeper level. It is time to move forward and focus on my growth.
- No one is worth sacrificing myself for.
- I am not selfish for putting myself first.
- I do not need to be scared or ashamed of my feelings. I am allowed to feel all emotions and it is okay to express them as long as no one gets hurt as a result.
- I will forgive but I will never forget the lessons that people have taught me. This will make me stronger and wiser.
- I do not need to prove myself to anyone. If someone is unwilling to trust or respect me, why should I waste my time trying to win their favor?
- I am not alone. There are people that care about meeven if they are not showing it at the moment.
- No matter what happens, I will get through this. I am strong enough to do it.
- I choose not to let the negative experiences dictate how I feel about myself.
- I may have been through some bad times but that does not mean that my life is over. There are good things waiting for me ahead.
- Even though there are people that pass through my life, I am the only constant in it. My actions always matter.
- I will not lower my standards to please someone else’s expectations of me.
- There are good things waiting for me in all areas of my life so why should I be stuck in this rut?
- Every day and in every way, I am getting better and better.
- I let go of the past and allow myself to move forward into a beautiful future.
- I love and approve of myself, and live my life according to what I know is right for me.
- Sometimes we attract people who need our help, but having compassion for them does not mean we have to take care of them.
- I am letting go of using my relationship as a crutch so that I can grow stronger and healthier on my own.
- Every day I love myself more and more.
- I accept people for who they are, but I also know that it is not healthy for me to let them stay the same.
- I am growing stronger and healthier as I continue to move forward in my life.
- I deserve someone who treats me with compassion, kindness, and love.
- Every day I am becoming a new person, one who is strong and healthy!
- The past does not determine my future – I do!
- I have the power to change my life for the better, and I am finally starting to do it.
- The past has nothing to do with me – only how I decide to let it affect me does.
- Being independent is not a sign of weakness but one of strength.
- I have the power within myself to achieve anything that I desire!
- Every day I am closer to being the person I want to be.
- I am no longer ashamed of who I am or where I have come from because it has made me into the amazing person that I am today!
- My life is precious and valuable, just as much as anyone else’s.
- No one can tell me what to do with my own body – it is mine and mine alone!
- I am looking for a healthy, loving relationship. I refuse to settle for anything less than what I deserve.
Do codependency affirmations have limitations? Yes. Affirmations alone will not work for everyone, and they may even cause problems. Some people believe that affirmations aren’t effective and/or can create a dependency or addiction on them. If an affirmation is repeated over and over again, this could lead to the person becoming desensitized to it as well as falling into some magical thinking about how just repeating it once or twice will have an effect. And, the person may need to increase the intensity of their affirmation statements in order for them to work.
On top of all that, if a person doesn’t truly believe an affirmation statement about themselves, then no matter how many times they say it over and over again, nothing much will change. It will take time, patience, and practice for codependency affirmations to become effective.
You might want to do affirmations in front of a mirror so that you can get used to saying the affirmation statement while visualizing yourself having already accomplished it or being already living out your desired reality. Affirmations must also be repeated regularly (e.g., daily or multiple times a day) and the more frequently they are repeated, the better.
However, if you find that affirmations don’t work for you – either because they’re not effective on their own or you become desensitized to them – there are other methods such as flooding , implosion therapy (which is like implosion therapy for your fears, anxieties , and insecurities ) or thought stopping before bed (e.g., ” I will not worry about _________ tonight ” or “I will stop thinking about _______” ). You can also use other motivational self-talk statements such as self-empowering affirmations .
Generally speaking though , affirmations are useful for changing one’s negative thoughts and behaviors into positive ones. However, just like anything else, you aren’t going to get the desired results if you don’t take action based on your affirmations/positive self-talk statements (e.g., applying what you’ve learned), so be sure to follow up with the right actions. As they say, “Actions speak louder than words.”
These are some affirmations that may help you in your journey to break out of codependent relationships. They will take time and effort but they will be worth it when you finally begin to see a change. By repeating these codependency affirmations, you are telling yourself that these beliefs are true. You cannot reprogram your brain overnight but you can make a start by repeating these self-empowering thoughts to yourself daily.